China will soon have a new president. Unlike the United States, there's no election involved and therefore no political campaigning going on (from what I've been following back in America, that's a blessing!). While Obama, Romney and all their campaign mouthpieces are slinging mud around, China's political scene has been very quiet. Chinese politicians are actually very smart about this - by saying nothing in public, you can't really say anything stupid, be misquoted, or have what you say misinterpreted.
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| VP Biden (and other American political candidates) could learn from VP Xi |
It is, however, possible even in China, to go too far and be too quiet and invisible. Assumed president-to-be (and current vice-president), Xi Jinping (习近平), has apparently realized this after a 2 week disappearing act that would make Houdini jealous. He even blew off visits by foreign diplomats including Hillary Clinton. The Chinese blogosphere was consequently filled with rumors of what had become of Xi (from heart problems to assassination) until the Chinese blogocensors tried their best to eliminate such cyber-speculation.
It turns out, at least according to the unofficial government story, that Mr. Xi has simply spent the last 2 weeks in bed, a perfectly logical place for a Chinese vice-president to be shortly before he is expected to be announced as the new president. Apparently, Xi hurt his back swimming and was ordered by his doctor to stay in bed. Nothing at all suspicious about this - as we all know, swimming often leads to back injuries requiring 2 weeks of bed rest. This must be why Chinese people don't swim, unless they're in the Olympics - in which case they promptly go to bed for several weeks after competing.
And of course, its also perfectly logical that the Chinese government made no effort to inform the public of why Xi disappeared. The health of government leaders is a state secret that must be protected. This does seem to counter Communist doctrine under former leader, Mao Zedong, who made swimming a huge public spectacle when he braved the waters of the mighty Yangtze River to show off his health and leadership strength.
Anyway, staying in bed seems to have worked since Xi finally made a public appearance yesterday in Beijing and, according to one observer, he looked healthy. Although I haven't found anything to corroborate this, I'd bet that his doctor also ordered him to "drink hot water" since that's the Chinese cure for all ailments.
Obama, Biden, Romney, Ryan and all related cronies - please go to bed. Set your alarm clocks for the morning after the election takes place. Think of the benefits - whoever wins will be well-rested, whoever loses can just turn over and go back to sleep and America will undoubtedly be a better place as a result.
Disclaimer: This post involves sarcasm and satire. While I believe in democracy and the American election system, I also believe that presidential campaigns have become a joke and (almost) believe that the Chinese system is better (in some ways). I'm also glad that Mr. Xi is ok and respectfully encourage him to stop swimming in water and keep drinking hot water.
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